On Men and Therapy
I see persons of all orientations and genders in my practice, and I hope that men will feel especially welcomed. Men stereotypically lead action-oriented lives; a man may prefer to conceive of himself as an organizer, instigator, rebel, or warrior -- overtly demonstrating his strength, competence and reliability -- and taking only the occasional rare moment as a “time out” to visit his feelings and rest in his spiritual center. I have led a men’s counseling group for over ten years now, and my own experience of men in counseling belies these stereotypes. I have come to believe that men are aware of their emotions, and often feel them keenly; men both value and resent their relatively privileged status in our culture, with its associated societal expectations; men are deeply spiritual and long for spiritual expression.
Despite traditional psychotherapy’s roots in very-male figures such as Freud, James, and Jung, today over 75% of practicing therapists are female, and most clients seeking therapy are women. It is, perhaps, not surprising that men often find it difficult to find a suitable counseling professional, and that men have come to be viewed by therapists as both “reluctant to seek help” and “out of touch with their feelings.” My belief is that men are naturally attracted to the camaraderie and spirituality that characterizes the psychospiritual approach. Working with men does requires a therapist to be sensitive to the unique expectations, challenges and cultural norms that go with living in a male body.
On Teenagers and Therapy
Most therapists dread working with teens; conversely, most teens hate the idea of seeing a therapist. My belief is that the same therapeutic skills that make for a good counselor go double for working with teens; the therapist must especially counter the teens’ certain experience of being repeatedly ignored and discounted by adults. The counselor must recognize that adolescence is a unique developmental period, that teens are not in fact “young adults” but have their own unique psychology, just as they have their own physiology and sociology. The psychospiritual approach can be especially exciting during the teen years, as this is often a time of spiritual awakening and deep inquiry.
Citations & Resources
Anderson, Harlene (1997). Conversation, Language, and Possibilities: A Postmodern Approach to Therapy. Basic Books.
Brown, S. (2000). The Exceptional Human Experience Process: A Preliminary Model and Exploratory Map. International Journal of Parapsychology 11, 69-88.
Corneille, J.S. & Luke, D. (2021). Spontaneous Spiritual Awakenings: Phenomenology, Altered States, Individual Differences, and Well-being. Frontiers in Psychology 12, 720579.
Hartelius, G., Friedman, H.L. & Pappas, J.D., (2015). The Calling to a Spiritual Psychology: Should Transpersonal
Psychology Convert? In H.L. Friedman & G. Hartelius (Eds.), The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Transpersonal
Psychology, Wiley-Blackwell.
James, William. (1902). The Varieties of Religious Experience. Oxford (1999).
Johnson, Susan M. (2020). The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Creating Connection. 3rd Ed., Routledge.
Sprenkle, D.H., Davis, S.D. & Lebow, J.L. (2014). Common Factors in Couple and Family Therapy: The Overlooked Foundation for Effective Practice. Guilford.
Taylor, S. & Egeto-Szabo, K. (2017). Exploring Awakening Experiences: A Study of Awakening Experiences in Terms of Their Triggers, Characteristics, Duration and After-effects. J. of Transpersonal Psych. 49(1), 45-65.
Underhill, E. (1911). Mysticism: A Study in the Nature and Development of Man's Spiritual Consciousness. New York: Meridian Books (1955).
Wampold, B.E., Mondin, G.W., Moody, M., Stich, F., Benson, K., & Ahn, H. (1997). A meta-analysis of outcome studies comparing bona fide psychotherapies: Empirically, “all must have prizes."
Psychological Bulletin 122(3), 203-215
Alef Trust / Liverpool John Moores University
Alef Trust offers an M.Sc. degree program of study that focuses on diverse topics around the nature of consciousness, the dynamics between psyche and soma, the psychology of self and higher states of being, and the psychological basis of spiritual and mystical practices.
Association for Transpersonal Psychology
ATP is an international coordinating organization for scientific, social, and clinical transpersonal work.
Integral Transformative Practice
ITP advances specific spiritual practices rooted in both eastern and western traditions; it centers on the cultivation of healthy growth, personal transformation and positive social change.
Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies
MAPS is a non-profit research and educational organization that develops medical, legal, and cultural contexts for people to benefit from the careful uses of psychedelics.
Scientific and Medical Network
SMN explores frontier issues at the interfaces between science, health, consciousness, wellbeing, love and spirituality.
"I am circling around God, around the ancient tower, and I have been circling for a thousand years, and I still don’t know if I am a falcon, or a storm, or a great song."
- Rilke